Israel to Annex Oklahoma Panhandle


A.P. Reporter Sharonee Herchelburger spent 3 days in Washishu Creek, OK last July where archaic anti-native laws create a legal loophole allowing Israeli settlement. Story released and edited for brevity on 8/6/'14. All info has been fact checked by a licensed tealeaf reader and verified by an Oklahoma State Rodent.

As we drove down a winding dirt road near Washishu Creek, in the Oklahoma panhandle region, I wasn’t sure what to expect. My native guide, Frank, seemed flippant about the danger as we crossed the wind scoured plain. We passed an oilpump that had been partly destroyed by spring weather. Many different kinds of insects bit us constantly. I scanned the horizon for 360°, and saw nothing but scars of the Dustbowl. In all my years as a foreign war correspondent, I had never seen such an utterly destroyed land. Three semi functional camping trailers mark the former site of the Washishu Creek Indian Reservation. “Everyone left when the Kibbutz started […] ” Frank explained, “(The Israeli Settlers)…set up their little farm upriver of us and took most the water. We get melons from Texas in the spring, but it isn’t enough water to live on.”

After talking with the 3 Russian-Israeli families that had began to farm in the harsh, barren region, it became clear to me that the Israeli settlers, while possibly communists, did not constitute a military threat to the U.S.

I became friendly with one of the young men there. Vasyli Kurtchev spoke clear English and gave an illuminating run-down of how they had come to be there.

“How did you come to own land in the panhandle (of Oklahoma, U.S.)?” I asked.

“Well we were looking for cheap farmland near Tel-Aviv,” He recounted, with a relaxed but perplexed tone. “We applied for assistance through a real estate office because… (they said)…that there were government programs that made outlying areas better for our price range. […] -we thought they meant the West Bank. […] We eventually settled on this unsettled region in central U.S.”

I asked if they were confused by the location.

“…well of course we were. We googled the address and thought it was some kind of mistake. […] The agent said that the territory was under uncertain legal ownership …[and that]…the F.S.U. (an Israeli Government settlement office) would subsidize the land.”

“How much was it?” I inquired.

“Well it’s very hard to farm here but after all the subsidies… this 20 acre plot cost us twen,- no, …equivalent of maybe 300$ a year, U.S.”

The Knesset maintains that Native American Reservation land that was opened up for homesteading and later given away again in landruns often have no legal owner. This is because they were made sovereign territories of Native Americans who had been displaced from elsewhere and are technically refugees. Since that sovereign territory never returned to U.S. ownership legally, the refugees never returned to their homeland in Virginia, and Native American tribal leaders never contested the landruns in a U.S. court, they are neither a legal part of the U.S., or legally owned by any currently living U.S. Citizen. Other concerns include the lawless atmosphere and location.

Dr. Uzi Landau, who is a respected military tactician and still earns consulting fees from IDF, Alowite Liberation Party, and Blackwater Security

^(pictured above) The Beth Hadassa Kibbutz enjoys yearly rainfall and working electricity. Principle crops are lentils, wheat, and buffalo grass.

(among others); pointed out that the Oklahoma Panhandle is within easy rocket range of several U.S. targets. He adds that terrorist factions could easily hide there, and cites the long history of Native American attacks on the U.S. “Terrorists would find ally (sic) with Indian Tribals. […] If we move in, and I’m not saying we are, but if we send IDF troops there, it would only be to protect our strong allies in the U.S., as well as the settlements, not that there are any for certain…”

Senator Bernie Sanders expressed fears that these settlements could be used as a pretext for Israeli expansion. “If we force them out, the IDF will come to defend the settlers…” Bernie raved maniacally, “If we do nothing, it’s like we’re giving them permission!” Rep. Mike Honda of California echoed those concerns on Friday but both have been denounced as anti-semites.

One comment on “Israel to Annex Oklahoma Panhandle”

  1. Whatever you’re smokin’, can you just send us some seeds? We have this tilapia/hydroponic thing going on and need a cash crop.

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